Coffee Cantata, by Mokhtar Alkhanshali
I’m always on the lookout for interesting and fun “history snacks”, so to speak that relate to coffee. This one I'm discussing today is easily one of my favorites. Namely, Bach (yes, the famous inimitable classical composer Johann Sebastian Bach) wrote a short play depicting a father arguing with his daughter over her addiction to coffee.
It’s really hilarious, here are some of my favorite parts:
“Father, don’t be so hard!
If three times a day I can’t
drink my little cup of coffee,
then I would become so upset
that I would be like a dried-up piece of roast goat.
Ah! how sweet coffee tastes!
Lovelier than a thousand kisses,
smoother than muscatel wine.
Coffee, I must have coffee,
and if anyone wants to give me a treat,
ah!, just give me some coffee!”
I don’t know what it means to feel like a dried-up piece of roast goat… but for some reason, I'm absolutely positive I've felt it before. I also think anyone in a relationship with a coffee lover can relate to this, our partners rarely understand the obsession.
The story goes on and the father tells her that if she can’t give up coffee she won’t be able to attend any weddings, won’t be able to go out walking, won’t be able to buy new clothes or jewelry, to which she responds:
“Alright then!
Just leave me my coffee!
I can easily do without all that.”
The dedication is that serious. Until he tells her that if she doesn’t give up coffee she won’t get a husband…
“Until I can give up coffee?
Right! Coffee? Remain forever untouched?
Father, listen, I won’t drink any at all.
This very day,
dear father, do it now!
Ah, a husband!
That’s just right for me!
If only it could happen at once,
so that at last instead of coffee
before I go to bed
I could get a lusty lover!”
And so it’s done, he’s broken coffee’s stranglehold on his dear daughter. He goes off to find her a suitable male. But she has another plan:
“'No suitor of mine should come to the house
unless he himself has promised
and it is written also in the marriage contract
that I shall be permitted
to make coffee whenever I want.'”
Leaving some of the rather antiquated gender ideas behind, I think my favorite part of this is that nothing has changed about our love of coffee. Bach wrote this some 300 years ago and, to be honest, who wouldn’t give it all up to maintain their coffee habit? In particular, and maybe I'm going out on a limb saying this; women love, love, love coffee... so much. It reminds me of the famous Ottoman law from the 15th century that permitted women to divorce their husbands should he fail to provide her with an adequate daily quota of coffee.
This drink is such an integral part of our lives, and so beloved. And it has been so for centuries.
So, I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna go brew a pot. Lest I end up like a dried-up piece of roast goat.
Best solution for her would be getting a husband who also loves drinking coffee so they can enjoy it together...
"I would be like a dried-up piece of roast goat" means she would look dried out, emaciated, wrinkled (and therefore completely unattractive).
There is another coffee poem by famous German poet Friedrich Schiller ((1759-1805), with Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the most important German poet). Here a translation:
I want to be like the people
who drink coffee beans at night,
and before tomorrow's bell,
give the world new life.
Whoever stays awake even late,
The black magic heals the lassitude.
Even if the night is cool on earth,
There's a hot whistle in the kettle,
The coffee should be ready,